April 23, 2014 Shuzzr

Once again I’ve fallen victim to the thought of the existence of Love and the possibility it dwells in others besides me. I’ve always given people a fair chance, even though the ones I really liked I held to different standards. As they didn’t have to do much but the little they did is what mattered.  All these years I’ve opened myself up to others but never have I let others totally in where we lived together; where I my actions was selfless and not selfish; where I made sure your total well being was paramount to mine.

An ambitious relationship overcharged on dreams, blocked by life’s reality as it kicked in. An Optimistic fool I was, as I over looked your youth and your intrinsic desire to achieve despite what ill it may have on me and the world.

My weakness was I always took a leap of faith despite the risks, even with history and time being the best teacher. Despite my willingness to change and my continuous plea to have faith you wouldn’t do such. You couldn’t accept me for who I am and you saw the present but not the future as you didn’t respected the past, though you were still shackled to it.

We clashed intensely, one for the books. I admit I acted irrationally but though I could admit my wrong your pride and ego got the best of you and look at us now. It took hate and anger to separate us when it was something greater that pulled us together.

As you took your final walk, I’m left filled with guilty pleasures knowing their might be more going on with you, and myself than meets the eye. But I can’t bear all burdens, I can’t be everyone’s healer, I can only look out me first and hope you will let someone in to help before it’s too late. I admit, I’m sorry and have done wrong but that’s that…. Out so I can heal.

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